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Repurposed Pain! Neither one of us wanted to be the first to say goodbye like the song "if loving you is wrong..I don't want to be right.." But then you began to "move different" like I wouldn't know the difference subtle but loud...head in the clouds I didn't want to see what you wouldn't say ~ but we both know that action speaks louder than words on any given day So my only solution was to draw my own conclusions My confession has taught me this life lesson You gave me something I could feel now I’m spending my days trying to heal because my emotions skewed my reality blurred my vision and affected my decisions I lied to myself...willful blindness I couldn't see past your smile and the small acts of kindness it was the little things that were so big to me My self inflicted pain runs deep because I knew this slippery slope was also steep My emotions spiraled out of control fighting to survive knowing my heart must allow my feelings for you to die I know that’s harsh right...but staying here in this space is killing "me" and I don’t mean softly in any way If I could only "un-feel" somehow I think it would make this less real but I can't and no sense in pretending that I can I'm just reconciling my heart to the reality present day and accepting what neither of us wanted to be the first to say I just can’t do this but I love you enough to still wish "you" happiness Thank you for giving me something to feel my feelings for you are beyond real and so is this void when I don't hear your voice Everything in life comes down to a choice So I Chose Me… and I will repurpose this pain
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